why The Birdhouse?
I have worn many hats on the internet, in corners big and small. Maybe it has something to do with when I was first allowed regular access to the internet (2011-ish), but I've always found comfort in the username. There is something uninhibited about pseudonyms, a confessory quality they bring to my writing and presence online that will likely never grace my (private) personal accounts, those fit with my real face and real name. Despite my appreciation of anonymity, all the pseudonyms I've tried share a similar qualities that have influenced the name of this blog.
The strongest similarities between all the usernames I've tried are their length and femininity. I typically use a shorter woman's name in addition to my username on platforms that do that sort of thing (think Twitter) as a way of using my real name (a very feminine and long name) without using it. Names like Alice and Maria would accompany long usernames with number flourishes. I usually found usernames by thinking of a word I liked, how it looked on paper, how it sounded, and mushing it together with another word to successfully wear a half-gibberish, half-feminine cloak on the internet. The words I liked to use as a younger teen had something to do with a current obsession or fandom, but as I got older, and usernames stuck around longer, the words were typically more tied to concrete passions, ideas, or memories.
The act of creating the username (or adding the profile picture) was always a source of anxiety for me as a teenager blogging on the internet. The blank, blinking username box asks you, in the simplest of terms, who are you? I didn't know that much for myself, much less how other people would know it from my username.
Though I could always fall back on my anonymity, I put a large part of myself into fake names. This blog, for example, is called The Birdhouse after the song Birdhouse in Your Soul by They Might Be Giants. My dad used to play their albums back-to-back in the car when I was younger, and we have all the songs memorized. When crafting a username for my adult self, I always tend to think back to memories. They are connected to me in a way only I'll truly understand. They are the cloak of anonymity stitched with fibers of truth. I think usernames like these are what make the Personal Web so beautiful. My real name couldn't tell you half as much as The Birdhouse does. Without giving you my name, I give you myself.
Also, I just like birds.
. . .
This post was written as part of #blaugust2024 from Belghast's Blaugust Prompt List: "How did you get the name that you regularly go by online, and what if anything does it mean?"
Inspired by becoming valentine by valentine's days