where have I been?
It's been about three months since I last posted something to this blog. I don't often let life get in the way of my hobbies, but life (determined as it was) not only got in the way, but stayed in the way until about a week ago. Since then, I've been making up for lost time and have filled every minute with reading, singing, and now blogging.
What I'm referring to as 'life' was really a summer spent in Europe as part of a study abroad program. I could not be more grateful for the experience, though it effectively sucked up every second I would usually spend typing away at my computer talking to you guys. In lieu of a 'here's what I did in Europe' kind of post, I'll just paste the reflection I typed up for myself the day before I left here.
"First of all, I realized that this city is a lot more like home than I thought it would be. And I can certainly get comfortable here. But at the same time, home in my mind is more beautiful than ever.
I also learned that I have the capacity for partying more than I thought. Also that I actually enjoy being drunk, which I literally never thought I would say. I never really let myself get drunk before this. I was always careful not to. Now I realize what people are talking about when they say drunk cigarettes are the best (sorry, Mom). And I have some really lovely memories thanks to my being more outgoing than I ever have been. Every year something pushes me further out of my shell and shows me just how extroverted I am capable of being, and how much I enjoy it. And sometimes I wonder if I'm putting on a face for these people, like I'm trying way too hard to make myself seem cool so they like me (which is somewhat true), but I think all the realer parts of myself are there, too. And I'm so glad that these new friends of mine are so kind and giving and willing to let go and have some fun. I've learned a lot from their ability to let loose. I want to bring their energy home with me. I think they've chilled me out a lot. I care less about things like carcinogens. They make me feel like I'm going to live forever when I'm standing out on the street out at night. I think it has finally clicked with me what the whole 'young, wild, and free' thing really means. I've never let go enough to know that before.
I'm also surprised with my ability to get comfortable with so many stressors so quickly. The metro is a good example. I was really intimidated by the size of the city at first, though it really isn't that big, and now I have a map inside my head that I use every day. I hardly need my phone to get around. I just know where everything is. And that's a really rewarding feeling, because I did it all by myself. I did this all by myself. And I've made a lot of friends here who help me through, but I also need to give myself the credit for trusting myself to let go and learn something new in the process.
Some part of me is wishing that I could just stay here a little longer, but I also know that leaving and taking these lessons somewhere where I can apply them with my friends and family will do me a lot of good. And it makes me sentimental knowing that I only have a year left in college, but this experience has taught me that new places aren't all that bad, either.
I feel like everything good is just around the corner. I see the blue sky outside my window. I waited a long time for this, and though it has gone by in the blink of an eye, I wouldn't trade these weeks for anything."
So that's where I've been! Like I said, I've been reading plenty, so your regularly scheduled book reviews will be returning shortly. Thanks for reading <3